I chose this topic because in the stages of grief, it comes after denial and it is an emotion that we all so commonly stuggle to understand and cope with daily. We all experience frustration when we have found out that our loved one has been diagnosed with a form of dementia or any other disease that requires us to become actively involve in the care of their activities of daily living. Gone are the days of feeling that you had finally come to the point you had completed all the responsibilities you had when raising your children.

Now you are faced with the responsibility of caring for a problem that you either had no choice in the matter, you were elected without your vote, or you just were not expecting this to happen and this was placed in your lap to handle.

First, I want to tell you that it is all right to be angry. Life does hand out some unexpected curves at us, and it will be unfair. But, I am a firm believer that for what ever reason that you have acquired this responsibility, there will eventually be a blessing to come out of this most unfortunate circumstance.

From personal experiences, anger can be a means of fueling an undesirable response. It can be very emotionally and physically draining, or it can illicit a change. Often it is up to us how we respond.

I had to find out that I was being so drained with the pent up anger that I had inside of me, I could see the results of my anger on my health and responses to others. Anger can kill. One of the “cure alls” for anger is simple forgiveness but with Alsheimer's disease, it is getting help with your feelings and making sure that you care for your needs. You can't give you what you don't have. Make sure that you seek out all avenues that will help you so you are not carrying this burden alone.

Don’t allow anger to build to the point in yourself that you end up self imploding. This has self destructive outcomes. Talk with someone and vent your feelings. That is why I hold a support group so that people can feel safe to vent their feelings in a “safe environment.”

Remember, the person that has the illness senses your emotions and whether they have dementia or not, they know when you are upset.

You are a vital piece of this puzzle and you must learn to take care of yourself. If you need to see a physician, make sure you keep your appointments. Allow yourself those “Calgone take me away moments.” Try and think positive thoughts, and please talk with people you trust and who care for about your feelings.

Please write me and ask any question that you need answered and I will do my best to help you.